Where do you want to be?

I like to plan ahead. I like to know what I'm going to be doing months in advance and don't like to leave important details to the last minute. My head is always swimming with things that need to be done later that day, later that week, and later that month.

Yoga teaches us to be in the present moment. To focus on the time that we are in right now, because really and truly that's all we have. When I can actually get grounded and be present, it's such a great feeling...it's a relief from all the hectic voices firing off in my brain telling me to keep pushing and planning.

The other day in our morning class, the teacher had us do an exercise that she thought was hard: have us pair up and talk about where we wanted to be one year, 5 years and 20 years from now, then think about at the end of our lives, what would we look back upon as our greatest accomplishment?

I suppose to someone who has taught yoga for more than 10 years and is so used to inhabiting the present moment, this question would be hard. I think for most Americans this question is almost laughably easy, on the surface anyway.

I was in 3rd grade the first time this series of questions was posed, and it's been posed at least two dozen times since in various high school classes, college classes, grad school classes, career workshops, etc. From the time we're very little we're conditioned to plan ahead, set goals, aim high. We're told that if we're to succeed in life, this is the only way to get started. Inherent in this mindset is, of course, a certain cultural definition of success. Even though these questions are posed in such a way that imply that they are to get you think broadly, in the American context there is a right answer and a wrong answer. Even in 3rd grade, these questions were aiming to get us to think about college, then a career and a family. In the decades since, same thing.

The right answers are:
Make good grades so I can....
....get into college so I can...
...excel in college so I can...
....get a good job so I can....
...get promoted x times in x years so I can...
...be a manager so I can...
afford a house in the suburbs so I can...
...have x kids and a dog and a car.

If you give anything different than these answers you will be told, subtly or matter of factly, that you're not planning right.

Here's the thing about how it was asked in my yoga class:
You're actually supposed to look into your heart and see what you *truly* want.

My automatic reflex answer was something about advancing my so-called prestigious career. (Cultural conditioning is tough to shake.)

My heart's answer was something completely different.

The thought of me on my deathbed at 80, looking back on what I was most proud of in life?

My heart's answer:
Following my own path, no matter the flack I get from outside voices telling me to fall in line, and staying true to myself even if it takes great strength and courage.

What's yours?

Firefly