The first page of my journal, dated last fall, contains a message I believed I had received from the universe:
buckwheat groats, chia seeds, and hemp seed cereal
Why, you must be thinking, would that be a message from the universe? Of all the things to transmit, why cereal? I don't know why. All I know is, the universe spoke and I was listening. The message wasn't that I needed to buy cereal, it was that I was on the right path. This was shortly before I left for Bali.
I used to believe that if the universe spoke, it would be some sort of grand gesture about a monumental life changing event. Should I go to that college/job/relationship? If so, show me a burning bush or some sky writing or something. I thought that such messages would only come about during those pivotal moments, and I was kind of disappointed never to get one.
Now I believe differently. And in the past week I've seen enough strange, subtle signs in the form of the simplest of objects, including but not limited to:
- a bathrobe
- not one, not two, but three new calendars
Who would have ever thought that such ordinary, everyday objects would symbolize a deeper meaning, a synchronicity, an answered prayer? Not me.
But during the past year, I have learned a valuable lesson about letting go and receiving. Letting go of the illusion of control and instead being receptive to messages from the divine and my inner voice. Letting go of thoughts, places, jobs, and people that do not serve me. (I don't mean serve in the sense of "cater to," I mean it in the sense of "being good for my soul.") At first I was terrified. I used to plan EVERYthing ...but when I really did some self examination and soul searching, I realized I was miserable even with all of the things I always thought I would need to be happy. My yoga training taught me how to follow my heart, and it told me how to trust the universe, which I suppose is another name for God.
So, even though I was afraid, I took a step away from things that were bad for me, even though I had thought they were the things that made me secure. I didn't know what I was walking toward, but hoped and trusted that if I showed I had faith, good things would happen eventually. I didn't like twisting in the wind, not knowing when I'd find another job, where I'd live or how I'd move forward in other areas of my life. But I allowed myself to just trust. And wait. And watch the birds chase each other and the flowers bloom.
And beautiful things happened. Friendships blossomed. My health improved. Even on days that felt like the worst of my life, I learned more about who I am, what I truly want, and how much strength I have. And I consciously tried to sit with my feelings, notice them, but try not to attach to them and let them define me, and in so doing, I believe I tuned in just a tiny bit closer with nature and with God in a way that has made me a tiny bit more aware and present in each moment. That, in turn, has made it easier to sense and receive messages from the universe, aka nudges from God.
I may never get some clear answer from the sky about where I'm going next or what I should be doing next. I think those answers will come from deep inside of me. But when I put a simple, tiny wish out into the universe and it's answered in ways I can't ignore, I know that means that if the small, insignificant things (like a bathrobe) are taken care of, then the bigger, heartfelt things are in God's hands too.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."